Mithra Trust
Taking Action
It's not always about the cops – although that too is a valid option. This section offers insights on other types of action that may be taken.
What can one do after acknowledging the violence they faced? There are many paths to choose from. At all points, the survivor has agency and must be the one to take any decisions concerning their needs. No one else can take that away from a survivor – not their family, not their friends, not the police, not online whistleblowers, no one. People supporting a survivor must remember that nothing happens without the survivor's explicit, free, full, and informed consent.
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‘Taking action’ doesn’t just mean going to the police or fighting for justice in court. There are many actions available – what you one chooses should depend on what makes one feel safe, and helps one heal.
Remember, doing nothing – or doing nothing for now – is also a choice. There is no shame in a survivor choosing the best option for themselves, freely, based on all the information they need to have to make a decision.
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Broadly, these are some options available to a survivor following an incident or incidents of violence:
If the abuser is a partner:
​One can:
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Share their trauma with a friend or family member, or a helpline.
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Ask a friend, family member, or a social worker to intervene on their behalf.
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Confront your partner.
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Seek therapy for oneself.
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Choose to seek couples therapy.
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Work towards improving one's financial situation and securing their future (like getting a job, or pursuing higher education or an occupational course.)
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Speak up about it online or in a public forum.
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Leave one's partner, end the relationship, or seek divorce.
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Approach a domestic violence shelter.
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Go to the police.
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Choose to not do anything and stay on in the relationship.
If the abuser is a colleague:
​One can:
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Share their trauma with a friend or family member, another colleague or manager, or a helpline.
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Confront the abuser, and ask them to stop.
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Ask someone else in the workplace to intervene on their behalf.
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Seek therapy for oneself.
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File a formal complaint with the organisation's Internal Complaints Committee or to the Local Complaints Committee of one's district.
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Speak up about it online or in a public forum.
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Go to the police.
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Choose to not do anything.
If the abuser is a family member or friend:
​One can:
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Share their trauma with a friend or a family member, a colleague, or a helpline.
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Ask a friend, family member, or a social worker to intervene on their behalf.
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Confront the abuser.
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Seek therapy for oneself.
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Speak up about it online or in a public forum.
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End the relationship with the abuser and cut contact with them.
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Approach a domestic violence shelter.
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Go to the police.
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Choose to not do anything and stay on in the relationship.
If the abuser is a stranger:
​One can:
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Share their trauma with a friend or a family member, a colleague, or a helpline.
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Speak up about it online or in a public forum.
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Seek therapy for oneself.
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Approach a one-stop centre, which is a service for survivors of sexual and gender-based violence.
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Go to the police.
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Choose to not do anything.
Decision to share:
The following steps can help a survivor if they decide to share their trauma with someone:
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Who? Decide on the person or persons one wants to approach.
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What? Decide how much one is willing to tell them, and what action one expects from them if they are receptive and continue to make one feel safe. Questions to consider include whether one should ask the other person to tell or not tell someone else, help one plan their next move, confront the abuser one one's behalf, or simply listen and provide support.
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Where and when? Decide on a time and place that feels safe and comfortable to share.
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How? Find the best medium to share: On a call, in person, via email, via text-messages, or an entirely different way.